On My Honor- Dealing with guilt after a horrible tragedy

On My Honor. Marion Dane Bauer. Clarion Books, 1986.

Joel Bates is best friends with Tony Zabrinsky, the boy who lives across the street from him. Although they get along well, Joel is bothered by Tony’s steady stream of crazy ideas and Tony’s insistence on having things his way. One day, Tony suggests that he and Joel ride their bikes out to Starved Rock State Park and climb the bluffs there, which is a very dangerous activity. Joel, seeking to get out of this plan, asks his dad for permission, banking on his dad saying no. To Joel’s dismay, his dad allows the boys to go; his only condition is that Joel must swear to his dad that he and Tony will do nothing else besides ride to the park and ride back.

On the ride out, Tony stops on a bridge over a river and decides that he wants to swim. Joel tries to convince him that it would be dangerous, but Tony’s stubbornness causes him to ignore Joel, instead accusing Joel of being scared to go swimming. The boys get in a fight, and Joel retaliates for Tony’s previous insults by daring Tony to swim out to a sandbar in the river with him. He knows that Tony is not a good swimmer, so he expects to be victorious in this dare. The boys race there, but when Joel arrives, Tony is nowhere to be found. After frantically searching the river and riverbanks (and nearly drowning from the undertow in the water), Joel comes to the sickening realization that Tony had drowned, and that he must now return home to inform his parents and Tony’s parents that Tony drowned on account of Joel’s dare.

The remainder of the book deals heavily with Joel’s feeling of guilt, of anger, of blame, and of responsibility for the death of his best friend. The reader is met with an engaging perspective into Joel’s disheveled emotional state following the tragedy. He strives to avoid his parents and absolve himself of any blame, but he must ultimately come forward with the truth. He struggles to find any solace, viewing it as a weight he must bear forever. This book offers a fascinating and chilling account of the manner in which a simple summertime activity can turn into a nightmare. I would highly recommend this book to middle school readers. It is a page-turner, as the reader quickly becomes enthralled in Joel’s dilemma. The vocabulary and content are age-appropriate for 5^th-7^th grade students. While this book would be great for individual reading, this captivating tale of internal character conflict would also work well as the subject of a whole-class study. Highly recommended!